Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish you could order shots online.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
