If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
