Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
