HIV tests are more positive than that guy
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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