dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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