your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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