Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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