just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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