Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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