Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
