Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
