who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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