And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
