This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think my moral compass just broke
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