Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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