Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
