No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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