Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The struggles of a small town man whore
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
