You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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