He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
