is your mom at the bar?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
