He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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