He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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