If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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