What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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