you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
