I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
