why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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