in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
