if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
