dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
