A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
