Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
