end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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