Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My ass is underappreciated
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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