How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
