i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
