I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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