Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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