So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
