I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
