I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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