Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize