jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
