I'm lost and stupid without you.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
