Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
