i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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