Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
