dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
