i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am midnight drunk by noon
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize