I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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