I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
