so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
