i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
