Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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