sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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