Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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