so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
