Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
