so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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