yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize